Originally posted on The Show Speak  |  Last updated 12/8/11
After a tumultuous search for the next head football coach of the Arizona State Sun Devils, Athletic Director Lisa Love has announced that they plan to rehire recently fired Coach Dennis Erickson.

"Honesty, this whole process just got too confusing."  - Lisa Love, ASU Athletic Director (Dec 8, 2011)

Erickson was 31-30 over his five year initial tenure at the university.  The firing of Erickson, which took place on November 28, 2011, sparked a nationwide coaching search that found its way back to the halls of the Center for Human Performance in Tempe, Arizona. 

June Jones Lisa Love on the coaching search:

"We began the original coaching search with a plan and with conviction.  Once we saw Kevin Sumlin's (University of Houston) name mentioned on Twitter as a potential match at ASU, we immediately jumped on board with that plan.  Unfortunately, Texas A&M fired their coach and somehow got wind of our secret courting of Coach Sumlin.  Once this occurred, we knew his price would increase past our comfort zone.  You know, we are not the Miami Marlins and we refuse to blow money willy nilly."

(Love continuing)
"Next, we targeted SMU head coach June Jones.  We thought it would be cute if we could hire him and the local media was able to print it's June in December headlines.  Jones has been on my radar since I vacationed in Hawaii and noticed this nice man coaching Rainbow football in a nice Hawaiian shirt with flowers.  I made a mental note that I would like to work like that, and one day I want that to be me working with a flowered shirt.  Since I am busy with the whole coaching search thing, I thought if I can't go to the school with the cool Hawaiian shirts, I'd bring the coach that wore them to me.   Wa-la - he became our target.  Unfortunately, it was brought to my attention  that SMU's football program suffered the death penalty due to improprieties.  Thankfully, it was brought to my attention before the lawyers had prepared all the paperwork for June to sign.  You should know I am against the death penalty."

So, what is ASU's next move?

(Love)
"This has been a long, difficult road in our search for a new head coach for the football program.  Because of this, we decided to take a break and secure our head basketball coach, Herb Sendek, to a two year contract extension.  Herb led the Sun Devil hoops program to a 12 win season last year and we are hoping that win total rubs off on our football program.  Coach Sendek is doing a wonderful job and has his hoop squad off to a blazing 3-5 start this year.  Well done Herb!"

Ummmmm....OK.  What's this have to do with the football program?

(Love)
"Since we have this announcement to make regarding Herb's extension, I thought it would be sensible to see if Dennis would like to come back for one more year since he is still under contract.  Dennis is coaching the team in the Las Vegas Bowl, and we found this coaching search to be- shall I say mind blowing.  In addition to the recent complexity of the search, we thought it would be wise to have a coach in place before the holidays.  We found a lot of vacation days are planned by the participants of the search committee and did not want to be short handed.  Thus, it is with great pleasue that I announce the unfire of Coach Erickson."  

Welcome back Coach Erickson!

Until Next Time,

Craig Turley
@OldNBABalls
University of Arizona 1993


Sources:  Azcentral.com; Twitter; and Made up

I hope you enjoyed this parody about the ASU football coaching search.  I know my U of A friends are enjoying it.


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