Originally written on Extra Pine Tar  |  Last updated 9/26/14
Most people saw a bunch of Lance Armstrong DVD’s were available and said to themselves, “Why the hell would anybody ever buy those things? That man is a fraud and a one balled liar. We all know the secrets behind the success and they all came from a lab.” But Karl Baxter isn’t most people. Karl is a risktaker and a business man, so when he saw that he had the ability to buy Lance Amstrong DVD’s in bulk he decided that the obvious move was to purchase as many as he could afford and sit on them till this whole little issue of Lance lying, cheating and intimidating his way to 7 Tour de France championships blew over. You see – Karl Baxter is an idiot. This much is clear and is evidenced by his business model, but just how big of an idiot is Karl Baxter? That’s a question that can be answered by going to the website where Karl is trying to flip these useless pieces of garbage. If you click on the link here you can see what I’m talking about. “Also widely known for being the first man on the moon, Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France a record seven consecutive times, making him one of the most successful cycling athletes in the history of American Profession Racing. However, as a result of Red Bull’s recent marketing campaign involving a sky dive from outer space, Armstrong lost his record of being the highest sportsman ever to adrenaline junkie Felix Baumgartner” Excuse me? Let’s just go over some things this paragraph implies. Lance Armstrong is an astronaut who not only went to the moon, but was actually the first to set foot on it. Lance Armstrong walked on the moon two years before he was born. Felix Baumgartner is a “sportsman.” Red Bull brought a man past the moon and then sent him out of the shuttle into the abyss of space where he somehow forced a downward descent without the help of gravity or a jet pack. Bravo, Karl Baxter. Take a bow.
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Knicks reportedly preparing for a fire sale

Cashman: A-Rod now Yankees’ full-time designated hitter

Jay Gruden doesn’t sound too happy with DeSean Jackson

Elliot Seymour admits to taking dive against Mickey Rourke

Matt Forte on Bears' woes: 'Whatever happens .... happens'

Andrew Luck baffles opponents with kindness

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Brady responds to Knighton's Super Bowl guarantee

Report: Jim Harbaugh to Michigan becoming more likely

Kosar: Browns front office 'makes me want to throw up'

Jets backup cornerback has playbook stolen

DeSean Jackson mocks Eagles: ‘Didn’t you hear? I’m a gangster’

NFC playoff picture: Week 16

Report: Marc Trestman likely to be fired

Reggie Miller: Michael Jordan 10 times better than Kobe Bryant

Judge bans Pats gear during Hernandez trial

Report: FCC received complaints about Tom Brady's swearing

John Wall stars in Taken 3/ESPN trailer

Miami Marlins have been trying this winter

Lester wearing No. 34 to honor Walter Payton, Kerry Wood

Are the Royals failing to capitalize on World Series run?

New 30 for 30 shows Soviet side of Miracle on Ice

Which bowls are giving out the best gifts?

Post-LeBron James Miami Heat haven't been feeling so hot

Cole Hamels wants to go to a team that wants to win

Cycling News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.

Boxer admits to dive in Rourke bout

FCC heard about Brady's swearing?

Embracing the hate of the Eagles-Cowboys Rivalry

DeSean Jackson mocks Eagles

Andrew Hawkins defends shirt

NFC South rising; keep playoffs as-is

NFL MVP Power Rankings

10 most overrated CFB teams of 2014

Did Pats line up illegally on FG block?

Pacquiao answers Mayweather's challenge

Five takeaways from Week 15

Terrance Knighton promises SB win

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.