Hey, what’s up *******? How’s the season going so far? It’s me. Or you. Depending on how you want to look at it. Whatever the case, I’m coming to you from the past. Why? Because I care about you, me us, and our sanity. And because I know you’re an idiot — at least when it comes to this team.
Most importantly, I’m here to remind you of what a rational, level-headed Mets fan was thinking before anything that’s occurred this fair season. I’ve already put a reminder in your Outlook calendar for a recurring appointment on the third Tuesday of each month for you to click on this very link. Why? Did I mention because you’re an idiot?
Now, how do I know what is going to happen in the future you may ask? I don’t. I do know your tendency as a fan. You get overly emotional about this team. Need we be reminded on this whole thing? Two weeks of self-imposed rehab following Luis Castillo’s drop heard round the world. OK, maybe just the Tri-State area (I still CAN NOT BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED). What did you have to show for it at the end? Nada. You didn’t get any better. You didn’t adjust your expectations. And that’s what this is about.
Still. So. Painful.
You need to get yourself straight now. Chances are, you’ve already started rationalizing a whole bunch of nonsense. If this…then this…and if this…maybe that…and if, if, if. If, if, if…as my high school baseball coach famously said: “If the queen had balls, she’d be king.” This has happened a bunch the last few years. Not only when the Mets have been purported contenders, but also when we’ve been predicted to suck.
For you, it seems not to matter all that much. Don’t even play. Remember when you were all ready to tab Daniel Murphy as the next Don Mattingly? How did that work out? Or when you were geared up to erect a statue to Rod Barajas after a few hot weeks to start of the season? Don’t you dare look away from yourself when I’m talking to you! Wait, huh?
The moral of the story is quite simply this. 2011 is not the season to fall into any unnecessary traps and fantasy meanderings. THIS IS YOUR REMINDER. You have too much for which to be happy and thankful. Baseball should be your occasional outlet. A brief and fleeting chance to turn your mind off and distract yourself from the everyday. Drink in the beauty of the game. Consider even attending a few games in person and enjoying a cold beer and the scent of fresh cut grass. Pat yourself on the back for the sound fiscal decision you made in saying goodbye to your season ticket plan. You’ll enjoy your $16 StubHub Loge seats that much more with a spare cash for a few extra brews.
And with him, hope vanished
Anyway, back to the point. This team sucks. S-U-C-K-S. It’s going to suck until 2014. You know this. Are you serious? I really need to quote us? Fine. Hereto find excerpts from your own posts. We’ll refer to them as Exhibits A and B:
From your November 11, 2011 post entitled “Mets Fans Need to Brace for a Long 2012”
Well, the reality of 2012 is staring Mets fans in the face. And it is downright frightening.
Reyes is as good as gone. Wright may be close behind. K-Rod is gone. Bay is still the Bay of Queens disaster. Santana is not coming back. Pelfrey probably is. The Mets are staring last place in the NL East in the face, and the clarity with which that scenario is coming into focus is depressing for this Mets fan. Can you imagine a sub-par catcher in Thole and an infield that could boast a mystery third baseman, Ruben Tejada at first, Justin Turner at second and Ike Davis at first? And that might be the comforting part.
The starting rotation could be Dickey, Pelfrey, Niese, Gee and g-d-knows-who. Does it say anything that my greatest confidence resides with a 37 year-old knuckeballer? The outfield? Bullpen? It’s difficult to even talk about. Bay, Murphy, Duda, Pagan? These are our options? Help. In the pen, there is no closer. No set-up man. No middle reliever. No…nothing. Are we starting to get the picture, Mets faithful? Embrace the ugliness.
Sure, there will be moves made. The bullpen could improve. We may take a few fliers (closer, another starting arm, an outfielder), and those gambles may pay off. It won’t matter enough. Brace yourself for some thoroughly disgusting baseball. The saving grace for me is Sandy. I’ve been in his camp since his appointment. With that backing, came an acknowledgment, an acceptance, no matter how much we might not want to have embraced it…that this was going to be a rebuilding process. It had to be.
This franchise needed to be torn down and built back up to get back to a certain place that could result in consistent contention. Well, prepare for the demolition. It’s imminent. Let’s hope that 2013 is the year that the labor begins to bear fruit. For now, just grin and bear it.
From your March 13, 2012 post entitled “New York Mets 2012: Meet the Mess Indeed”
Let me get this out of the way. I know the Mets are going to suck for awhile, and I’m fine with that. It’s how it has to be. This is what rebuilding looks like. As mentioned time and again, my faith in Sandy Alderson is unwavering. Waiting until 2014 for relevancy is a cross I’m willing and able to bear. But is it completely necessary for the Mets to continue to kick their fans while they’re down? The answer is, of course and always, yes….
Do any of these missives ring a bell? Then what the hell are you pretending to give a f&*! about! This team is sh*t. They will be sh*t for some time. Most of all, you knew they’d be sh*t. What happened to grinning and bearing it? TRUST ME. Whether it’s Dillon Gee, Justin Turner, or g-d help us, Jason Bay. Whatever’s got you thinking of any sort of visions of competitiveness, squash them.
People often speak of being older and wiser. You’ve proven that such a notion is a fallacy when it comes to you and this franchise. Are you even listening? Stop rolling your eyes. Did you just try to sell me on Mike Nickeas?? For realz? STOP. IT.
Watch the games. Lend your cheer. Just leave your emotional investment at the door. Trust me. It’s for our own good. I’ve seen the future, and it’s full of pain…until at least 2014. See you next month for a subtle reminder. Now, feel free to return to your regularly-scheduled program. I hear Miguel Batista is on the mound tonight. Enjoy.
Your Rational Self
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