Found July 05, 2013 on
Monkey with a Halo:
Los Angeles Angels
New York Yankees
To say the Angels' season has been a rollercoaster ride thus far would be an understatement.
Indeed, there are few other ways to describe an eight game win streak snapped by a Houston Astros sweep. This was followed up by what optimists would describe as a "mediocre showing," where the team won only eight out of the next eighteen. However, the slump was shattered with sweeps of the Tigers, and a revenge sweep against the Astros. Put simply, if the Angels were any more fickle with their wins, Taylor Swift would write a song about their lack of commitment.
The label earned from the recent performances is one no team or player wants on their resume. The Angels are best described right now as "streaky". In these instances, a review of the entire team is necessary to find exactly what is preventing the squad from firing on all cylinders. This time around, It's not the bullpen's inconsistency. It's not Josh Hamilton's bat. It's not Jered Weaver's decreased velocity. It's not Peter Bourjos suddenly finding himself injury-prone, and it's not Albert Pujols' contract. We need to look else where.
It may be time to trade the Rally Monkey.
The Monkey has been with the organization for a long time. He came seemingly out of nowhere. He had no minor league experience, no college resume, no experience with baseball away from US soil, no birth certificate, nothing to show he would be the future of the franchise. Yet he's done very well since his debut, including a highlight-reel moment in game six of the 2002 World Series. That said, the old gent ain't as young as he used to be, but no one is quite ready to unceremoniously dump him by the wayside a la Scott Kazmir. There's no harm in testing the free agent waters though.
Maybe a Rally Possum is more our speed. It does seem like you have to hang upside down and let the blood rush to your head to see things as Scoscia does sometimes, and, like Arte Moreno signing a big name free-agent to WAY too much money, possums are notorious for bolting across dangerous roads without looking both ways. In addition, possums are marsupials, so when someone asks if the Angels can pull any runs out of their collective posterior, the possum can offer an alternative pouch from which extra runs can materialize. The only problem is that possums often end up as roadkill to be scraped off of the asphalt. This is not exactly the scene we want sticking in fans minds as the Halos try to climb the ladder in the AL West.
A Rally Alligator (Rallygator?) may not be the most lively of animals, but its ferocity is well documented. A modern day dinosaur (not unlike Alex Rodriguez), the alligator is generally the apex predator of its habitat, hunting any prey it believes it can consume. The Rallygator has also been known to attack humans in self defense, similar to how the Angels must attack to win a game when behind in the 6th inning. There are several issues with the Rallygator though. People may confuse it for the Lossodile and while they are in the same scientific order, the results they produce in a ballgame are very different. Also, should the Rallygator feed on a large meal like Prince Fielder, it may not be as inclined to feed again for several days. This is a setback the Angels cannot afford in a season of 162 games.
A final option to consider is the Rally Crab. In the grand tradition of sea creatures (like the noble Salmon and scintillating Trout) being a boon to the Angels, a Rally Crab may be just what the franchise needs to continue the trend of beneficial marine life. Clearly, a Rally Crab's greatest ability would be to grant the Angels the ability to rob home runs by engineering a "Deadliest Catch" up over the left center field wall. Seafood buffet patrons can vouch for the toughness of the Rally Crab's exoskeleton, and that hard hell may be useful in protecting a tenuous lead. We can also take into account the crab claws and a slew of intangible benefits to "pinch" hitters. The downfall of the Rally Crab is land. Unless Arte Moreno sees fit to install a Tampa Bay-like aquarium to hold our new aquatic assistants, they'll find life without their staple diet of plankton and algae to be in short supply in an environment where hot dogs and garlic fries are the common consumables.
This is all just hearsay of course. There are not many who truly want to get rid of the Rally Monkey. The old man puts a fire in the fans. He makes children stand and cheer, and a quick perusal of the fans will tell you the tykes would otherwise have their faces stuck in an iPhone playing Candy Crush. His theme song gives a second wind to fans that worked a day job from 9 to 5 and cheered their lungs out for their team for 7 innings or more. And, at the very least, he makes players smirk and shake their heads, relieving a bit of stress and offering a modicum of distraction for an opposing team. The Rally Monkey doesn't look to be going anywhere, and will hopefully continue to welcome fans for years to come.
But it couldn't hurt to keep the Rallygator's phone number in the front office smartphones, just in case.
BEST OF MAXIM
AROUND THE WEB
WHAT AN HONOR
Jered Weaver and his wife had their first child, and the two named their baby after Weaver's late Angels teammate, Nick Adenhart.
With the starting rosters of the 2013 MLB All-Star Game being announced tomorrow, Angels fans have to wonder who will be representing the Halos in the midsummer classic on July 16th. Unfortunately for Angels fans, the team’s sub-par first half will see them send only one position player to New York.
Here’s a closer look at the Angels dim All-Star Prospects:
(This covers position...
It’s been a long road back from Tommy John surgery for
right-hander Ryan Madson. The Los Angeles Angels were hoping he’d be in their
bullpen by now, but he continues to go through rehab, receiving treatment on
his recovering elbow. While the road before him remains long and uncertain,
Madson took an important step toward his return earlier this week, throwing off
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Los Angeles Angels pitcher Jered Weaver has become a first-time father, naming his son in tribute to late teammate and friend Nick Adenhart.
The team said Friday that Aden David Weaver was born earlier in the day to Weaver and his wife, Kristin. The baby weighs 8 pounds.
Weaver has paid tribute to Adenhart ever since the young pitcher was killed by a drunken driver...
Angels’ outfielder Mike Trout has been selected as the starting left fielder for the American League All-Star team, becoming the youngest Halos’ starter in history.
Just another milestone in Trout’s young career as he was destined to make an appearance in New York. This will be his second All-Star game in as many Major League seasons as Trout played in last year’s All-Star...
While the Los Angeles Angels struggled through much of the early portion of this season, so too did Mike Trout.
Last year’s rookie sensation was hitting just .261 a month into this season — not terrible, but nowhere near the eye-popping totals he put in 2012. He has rebounded, though, and enters this weekend’s series with the Red Sox as the team leader in on-base percentage...
ANAHEIM, Calif. -- Josh Hamilton hit a tying two-run homer in Los Angeles' three-run ninth inning, and the Angels rallied for a 6-5 victory over the St. Louis Cardinals on Thursday night.
Mark Trumbo belted his 19th homer and Mike Trout had two RBIs for Los Angeles, which took two of three in the series. Scott Downs (2-2) got three outs for the victory.
St. Louis ace Adam Wainwright...
Los Angeles Angels pitcher Jered Weaver and his wife Kristin gave birth to their first child on Friday, and they named him after a friend Jered lost more than four years ago. The baby’s name is Aden, which is spelled that way to honor former Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart. As most of you know, Adenhart [...]
Josh Hamilton hit a tying two-run homer in Los Angeles' three-run inning, and the Angels rallied for a 6-5 victory over the St. Louis Cardinals on Thursday night.
Hamilton connected against closer Edward Mujica (0-1). Howie Kendrick and Mark Trumbo followed with singles, and Mujica retired his next two batters before Erick Aybar drove in the winning run with an opposite-field...
The July 5th, 2013 edition of daily news for the Los Angeles Angels including Hamilton chewing tobacco again, Pujols likely to have foot surgery after the season and much more...
EDITOR'S NOTE: Yeah, I know the links are way late. I have a life, get off my ass.
The Story: Josh Hamilton might be chewing tobacco again and really doesn't want to talk about it.
By Joe Haakenson, AngelsWin.com Contributor -
JULY 4, 2002
GAME 83 - ORIOLES AT ANGELS
ANAHEIM – The Angels’ bats went silent for the first six innings and starting pitcher Kevin Appier struggled his way through 6 1/3 innings in the Angels’ 7-2 loss to the Baltimore Orioles before 43,342 at Edison Field.
Orioles starter Travis Draskill isn’t exactly a household...
Mike Trout is in.
Is Yasiel Puig next?
Trout, the Angels reigning rookie of the year, was voted to start in the American League outfield for the July 16 All-Star Game at Citi Field in New York, but he was the only member of the Angels or Dodgers to earn a starting spot.
Dodgers left-hander Clayton Kershaw was named to the National League pitching staff for a third consecutive...
With The All-Star Game Just A Few Days Away, I Thought I Would Take Some Time To Discuss The Angels Players Who Deserve To Be In The All-Star Game. Everyone In The World Knows Every Team Has At Least 2 All-Stars. So Who Are The Angels Players That Get In?
For Sure The Player Who Is An Automatic Ballot Is Mike Trout. If You Won The A.L R.O.Y (Rookie Of The Year...
Source: Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images
Angels manager Mike Scioscia is the latest to say that Dodgers phenom Yasiel Puig is not yet deserving of an All-Star selection.
While acknowledging the talent of the 22-year-old the former big league cat catcher stated that he believed Puig’s stint in the majors was not long enough to deserve selection to the mid-summer classic.