Originally posted on Larry Brown Sports  |  Last updated 6/19/12

What you just heard (if you turned your volume way up) is a snippet of Texas Rangers announcer Dave Barnett having what can only be described as an out-of-body, hallucinating experience.

“A 2-1 game, the tying run on second — a lead-off single by Chase Headley. Go-ahead run is at (pause) fifth on what Adams is insisting on calling it a botched robbery. What actually happened was his henchman (pause) took piece literally out of my, his–.”

Go ahead run is at 5th base? Maybe Dave Barnett is just thinking of Josh Hamilton during his party days when he became the first person in human history to make it to the coveted 5th base. One can only assume that getting to 5th base involves at least 20 women, a couple of dwarfs, and a Unicorn. Not too sure where the botched robbery that Adams’ is insisting on calling it would be. One of the dwarfs trying to steal Hamilton’s pants but gets kicked by the Unicorn and bursts into a thousand gold coins? Seems legit enough.

Legitimately the only explanation I could think of for Barnett’s ramble.

H/T Deadspin

This article first appeared on Larry Brown Sports and was syndicated with permission.

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