Originally written on Purple Jesus Diaries  |  Last updated 4/22/13
Chris Kluwe has a book coming out on June 23 of this year titled "Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies: On Mythos, Morons, Free Speech, Football, and Assorted Absurdities." Boy, the guy has to be pretty full of himself to name his own book with such a long title AND include alliteration! But the cover for said book was released by Mr. Kluwe himself last week, and of course it looks ravishing. I mean, come on! The pony, the air, the **** eating grin, THE BRAGGING PROMINENCE OF THE STRAIGHT MARRIAGE WEDDING RING! Just kidding. But it looks kind of funny, and the book could be interesting, and of course, if anyone wanted to send me an advance copy to review, I'd totally do that, too. Just throwing that out there. I guess while we're highlighting Kluwe today, we may also go ahead and talk about how the Minnesota Vikings are showing stomach churning signs that they may be getting rid of this peace monger in the near future. If not this year, than definitely next. Kluwe is on the last year of his contract, where he is still due $1.45 Million if he is on the roster after the regular season starts. He's also 31 years old, which makes him essentially ANCIENT as far as football players go, and boy, maybe the management team of the Vikings is getting tired of Kluwe's colorful antics, antics which make the team so much more interesting to follow. Maybe instead, they'd rather have good old boys and blank slates and boring canvases, and holy God, this team is becoming so boring. Also, the Vikings worked out a punter this offseason, a guy from LSU called Brad Wing. Not a terrible name for a punter, if we had to get a new one, but the problem of course is that he would potentially be replacing the immortal Chris Kluwe. And why "try out" a punter if you're not just going to Ryan Longwell Kluwe this offseason? I know the team is going for a youth movement, but come on ... The punter? He barely does anything. I think we have much higher concerns than getting younger at the punter position, guys. Anyway, whether or not Kluwe is cut before this season begins or walks at the end of next season, I am learning to appreciate every moment I have with him as a Viking, like he's already in NFL fan hospice care or something. If that's not a real thing, I should probably copy write that. But regardless of what happens, buy his book, read it, then send me a copy with dick pictures in the margin. Everyone wins! [follow]
GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Sam Bradford on target to start season opener for Eagles

NFL official: Footballs known to have leaks 'right out of the box'

Bills suspend assistant coach for first six games of 2015

Trent Richardson has 50-50 chance at making Raiders roster

Rex Ryan takes subtle jabs at Jets' upper management

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Everett Golson responds to Paul Finebaum's criticism

Mark Sanchez says it ‘crazy’ to call Chip Kelly racist

Malcolm Butler daring Brady to throw his way in practice

Geno Smith confident worst is behind him and the Jets

Ronda Rousey knocks out Bethe Correia in 34 seconds

Von Miller earns dismissal from NFL’s drug program

WATCH: Dez Bryant throws punches at training camp

There's no need for Notre Dame to join a conference

WATCH: Benches clear during Royals-Blue Jays game

Jim Harbaugh gives Nicki Minaj a shoutout on Twitter

The Kardashian sisters still call Caitlyn Jenner 'Bruce'

Tennessee fan recreates Neyland Stadium in backyard

Lolo Jones: I could last at least a minute against Rousey

Bears have very strict rules for media during training camp

Jamaal Charles: I feel like I'm the LeBron James of football

Ronda Rousey: I'll fight Cyborg if she stops taking steroids

Danny Garcia beats Paulie Malignaggi, remains undefeated

Bobby Wagner, Seahawks agree to contract extension

NFL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Notre Dame doesn't need a conference

Rex takes jabs at Jets' management

Sanchez: It's 'crazy' to call Chip racist

Ronda Rousey calls out Cyborg

Five most underrated players in the NFL

Five potential NFL salary cap casualties this preseason

Winners and losers of the 2015 MLB trade deadline

Pirates do Pirates at deadline: Neat little moves

Mets acquire Cespedes from Tigers

Ranking the NFL’s 32 head coaches

Five worst baseball trades since 2000

Examining the state of the NFL

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Help
Follow Yardbarker