Originally written on The Last Angry Fan  |  Last updated 6/7/12
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Dallas Cowboys fullback Lawrence Vickers had finished his usual bit of stretching and was preparing to partake in organized team activities when he felt something not quite right in a most sensitive area of his lower body.  The free agent signee did a little rummaging around in his crotch and found out what was causing the intense and sudden burning and itching sensation.

Fire ants.  Yes, fire ants…down there.  One can only assume that having a pair of fire ants going to work on your junk is as uncomfortable as it sounds.

Vickers left the field with his hands on his groin while being attended to by a team trainer.  Good thing too, because the Dallas player is actually allergic to fire ants, a fact he learned about four months ago when he had a run in with some of the critters while working out.

Said Vickers (via ESPN)…

“I was just holding myself,” Vickers said. “And there were people outside and you don’t just be grabbing on yourself because ants are on you. People are gonna make fun of you. I don’t care as long as they got off me. I don’t care about people knowing about ants in my pants.”

When Vickers was asked what he did when he returned to the locker room, he said, “Went and took a Benadryl quick, and then I rinsed off because I started breaking out in hives. I break out in hives when it comes to ants. Ants are nothing to play with. The smallest things on earth is the most dangerous thing to me.”

Tiny insects that target the pubic area and cause itching and burning?  Don’t act like you aren’t thinking what I was thinking.

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