LATEST STORIES FROM FIVE TOOL TOOL
Top 10 Week 7 NFL Late Game Notes
October 25, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
> Mark Sanchez said he wanted to get his mojo back this week, and scored on a QB draw and a really nice deep ball to David Clowney when the Raiders were getting Clownied all over the field. But in general, I'm looking at a guy who, in ten years, has a chance to be ten years...
Top 10 Week 7 NFL Ad Questions
October 25, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
10) Does David Spade feel any shame whatsoever at exploiting the morbidly obese corpse of Chris Farley, and why exactly should this make me want to switch to DirecTV?9) Is anyone else creeped out by CBS, the network of "60 Minutes", "Murder, She Wrote" and "...
Top 10 Week 7 NFL Early Game Notes
October 25, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
> How, exactly, does bringing a terrible game to foreign audiences build the NFL's appeal overseas? The Pats looked downright bored in this game, even when it was close. They weren't the only ones.> I know I'm perverse, but on some level, I really love shanked punts...
Yankees-Angelzzzz.... zzz... zzz... zzz...
October 23, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
Here's what happens to you, Dear Reader, after A Certain Age: you start to fall asleep on games. This happened to me last night with the Angles-Yankees, which eliminated the chance to crank off a list of snarky goodness over how the game was a classic case of two managers seeing...
Top 10 Dodgers - Phillies Game Five Questions
October 22, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| 1 comment
| 1 comment
10) Was the TBS crew contractually unable to mention that the fans were chanting "You Took Steroids" and "Hit the Showers" at Manny Ramirez?9) Is it really worth a tongue-lashing from the people inside your television if you are lacking avocado, or should we just...
Week 7 NFL Picks: These Picks Just Don't Like Each Other
October 21, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| 1 comment
| 1 comment
Is these a bigger announcer cop-out than "These teams just don't like each other!" It's a darn shame, really. They used to get along famously, taking turns forfeiting games so that no one would get hurt, sharing playbooks and film rather than trying to trick each...
Phillies - Dodgers Game Four Notes
October 20, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
11) According to the World Wide Lemur, Jimmy Rollins' game trying and game winning RBIS is the first time that a home team got one of those since... Kirk Gibson. So that means we can stop showing that footage, right? (Please?)10) Please note that the game-tying run tonight was...
In news that I know that you don't care about...
October 19, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| 1 comment
| 1 comment
Here's the opening day team for the auction keeper team. As you can see from the selections and dollar amounts, I was very aggressive early.1 LeBron James, Cle SF $765 Kevin Durant, OKC SG $7551 Lamar Odom, LAL PF $762 Tony Parker, SA PG $1473 Emeka Okafor, Nor C $1285 Jeff Green...
10 Phillies - Dodgers Game Three NLCS Notes
October 18, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
10) Hideki Kuroda's star-crossed year (Opening Day pitcher, DLd for months afterward, intermittently dominant and maddening) might have ended tonight, because it's hard to see how Joe Torre trusts him with any more innings this year. He had nothing, and you have to think that...
Reid isn't going anywhere. Yay?
October 18, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
In light of today's humiliation at the hands of Al Davis's brain-eating zombie army (at minimum they've feasted on the juicy brainmeats of Donovan Mcnabb and Andy Reid), I want to visit a simmering issue here in my adopted hometown: Andy Reid is negotiating a contract extension...
Week 6 NFL: The All QB Edition of You Crap The Bed!
October 18, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
This week on a very special edition of You Crap, we're brought to you by Custom Fatheads, the best way to drop $90 to $140 in a way that shows the world that You Have No Shame. It's also a fantastic way to decorate someone's cubicle or office when they are on vacation....
Ten Eagles - Raiders Notes
October 18, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
10) In every terrible loss there is the initial rush of "Oh No," when it becomes apparent that life is not going to go well. Today, of course, it was the monstrous touchdown to Zach Miller, but the fact is that the Raiders were winning the battles on the line all along, and...
Top 10 Week 6 NFL Ad Questions
October 18, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
10) Does Symbicort really make your lungs glow a brilliant blue through your shirt, and cause you to clean your pristine green pick up truck in a world where nothing else exists? I want me some of them hallucinations.9) Why will douchebag French film directors and scooter-riding squirrels...
Top 10 Phillies-Dodgers Game One Takeaways
October 15, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
10) I'd like to sincerely thank MLB for allowing me to see the game, since as the NLDS and tomorrow's game shows, that's really not a given9) The fact that Davey Lopes is the Phillies first base coach and Larry Bowa is the Dodgers third base coach is making my entire childhood...
Week 6 NFL Picks: Incoming Cold Front
October 15, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| 1 comment
| 1 comment
In the East, the weather changes with more or less of a snap, and you suddenly find yourself back in the winter coat that you stepped away from all too recently. People fight against this to varying degrees, or just roll over. Currently I'm writing this preview while wrapped in...
MLB Picks: Five Hundred And Thrilled
October 13, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
After picking half of the first round series correctly... I feel kind of amazed to have that many, really. Both the Red Sox and Cardinals went for Maximum Fail, and as those were my second and third most confident choices. But that's the nature of playoff baseball, let alone a...
Top 10 Things I Learned From The Phillies V. Rockies NLDS
October 12, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
10) Todd Helton may have rejuvenated his career with back surgery, but it doesn't work against left handed pitchers9) Philly Fan shouldn't complain about Charlie Manuel and his hunches ever again, but will8) The Rockies clearly needed more Kyle Orton7) Watching poorly timed...
Top 10 things about Red Sox Elimination Day
October 12, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
Life gets harder as you get older. The pace of things just never seems to let up, there's more responsibilities at work, the kids make bigger messes and need more of your time, and if you're lucky, the spouse continues to want you around. I don't know about you, but it...
Major League Fail
October 12, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
One of this site's contributors is, in marketing terms, the absolutely ideal consumer for baseball. He loves the game, goes frequently, will travel to stadiums outside of his metropolitan area, and is the gateway to the next generation of baseball fans, seeing as he how three impressionable...
Top 10 Phillies-Rockies Notes
October 12, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| 1 comment
| 1 comment
10) It's awfully nice of MLB to show the defending World Series champions to the working man. Once. Provided he wants to stay up until well past 2am EST. Bud Selig Blows Goats.9) Brad Lidge got the save tonight and didn't give up anything that was hard hit, but anyone that...
Top 10 Week 5 NFL Ad Questions
October 11, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
10) Why does Bud Light feel that having a sound system as crappy as my beer is a win?9) Why, exactly, should non-humorous infants make me want to use a stock trading service?8) Will changing the color of the taco shell from my wretched Taco Bell meal change, in any way, the soul-crushing...
NFL Week 5: You Crap The Bed!
October 11, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
This week on You Crap, we're brought to you by Just Coffee.CoOp, the fair trade java pushers that delivers hot squats. With Just Coffee, you can feel virtuous about your caffeine addiction, all while giving a certain urgency to the proceedings. The goal of the game is to let you...
Top 10 Eagles Bucs Notes
October 11, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
10) The best way to keep a bad team around is with turnovers. The second best way is penalties. In the first 20 minutes of this game, the Eagles had six flags, including multiple first downs on defense, including a killer of a phantom unnecessary roughness call (the refs called it...
Top 11 things I've learned so far in the MLB playoffs
October 08, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
11) All of the work I've done with the therapist to forget Frank Caliendo will be undone by George Lopez10) Cole Hamels is not going to revert to his form of 2008 just because it's October, or because his wife is spawning9) You can take Joe Torre out of four hour Yankee games...
Week Five NFL Picks: Unwelcome Drama
October 07, 2009 by
Five Tool Tool
| Comments
| Comments
Everyone is going to pound on this in previews this week, but if there is a weaker schedule for competitive games than this weekend, I don't remember it. At least a half dozen of these games should finish well over a double-digit final, and if you are still alive in an elimination...
SITE INFORMATION
Five Tool Tool
Cheap, mean, biased, unfair and tasteless sports blogging, as seen on sites like Deadspin, With Leather, DanShanoff.com and more. We've got a logo, a lot of people pick our stuff up and link to us, and one day, we will rule Antarctica.
Related Yards
Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers
Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?
Join the Yardbarker Network (YBN) for more promotion, traffic, and money.
