Andre Ethier has arrived... in the Onion. BRECKSVILLE, OH—Local man and casual baseball fan Leon Markham confirmed to reporters Wednesday that he has definitely heard the name of baseball player Andre Ethier. "Andrew Ethier, yeah. Shortstop for the Phillies, right?" Markham said of the Dodgers outfielder. "He's good at hitting. Or maybe he's known for his defense? He's fast, I think. Sounds fast. You know, I might actually be thinking of Rafael Furcal." Markham...