Originally posted on StiffLeftJab.com  |  Last updated 12/2/12

I give every Professional Athlete the benefit of the doubt, what the hell? But, Bynum's story, 'I screwed up my knee Bowling, well?  Who yelled 'skeptic?'  So I called a few cohorts, and Andrew, I gottcha.  Here's what really went down:

 

The Official Story:

Philadelphia 76ers' center Andrew Bynum, confirmed an ESPN report that he injured his left knee Bowling.  Bynum said he didn't remember when it happened, only that he noticed the swelling later. Bynum hasn't played yet for the Sixers in either the preseason or regular season since coming over from the Los Angeles Lakers.  He was already in rehab for a knee problem.

The Real Story:

They sit together on the plane.  Andrew Bynum, and his friend D.J. Player.

"Get away from Philly," says D.J.  "Get some snow.  Skiing.  It'll be fun."

"Good, but I don't know how to ski," says Andrew.  "Guess they'll teach me, right?"

"How tough can it be?  Best athletes in the world play in the NBA."

"Yeah, I guess.  Okay, if you say so.  Won't hurt my knees?  I'm in rehab, you know."

"Forget about it.  You seen on TV how skiing's so smooth.  It's snow.  It's real soft, come on."

They land in Aspen, private motor coach, La Chateau Hotel, bags in the suite, and they're at the Ski Shop.  All hyped.

Bob and Ray watch them enter. 


"I know this guy" says Bob, big smile.

"Yeah, it's Andrew Bynum," says Ray, eyes wide.  "Plays with the Lakers...no 76ers.  He's here to ski?"

"I didn't think they let players...Hello, gentlemen, looking to do some skiing?"

"Set us up," says D.J.  "We're going skiing."

"Do you know what you'd...like...?" asked Ray.

"Whatever we need, guys, " says Andrew.  "I only got a few days.  Gotta get back for rehab in Philly, so..." 

"Okay," says Ray.  "Where do you want to start?"

Andrew and D.J. scan the shop, blink, look at each other, then back at Bob and Ray.

"Gentleman," says Bob.  "No problem.  You need our Klondike ThreeDogNight Sub Celsius Power Package.

"You get the Iceman Suspension Skis with full sidewalls, full wood core, with a titanium coat, creating a powerful driving ski with an edge that transfers all your power to the snow.  It has a 5mm tip rocker that gives you a real smooth turn. You get Iceman Fire Rocket X200 Ski Boots with the strength to resist twisting. And there's a 60 degree instep retention buckle..."

"We'll take it...we'll take two," says D.J.

"And what about pants, mittens, long underwear...?" says Ray.

"Yup," says Andrew.  "Whatever we need."

After an hour, looking, trying on, too big, that's really ugly, red, no green's better, I like that, it too tight, but yes, finally they're all set up.  D.J. snaps his fingers, Andrew passes his credit card, $6,300.00.

Bob and Ray, shake their heads, muscle the two to the top of the slope, say good luck guys, and slog back.

The two look down the slope.

"Just like on TV.  Nothing to it.  Andrew, go ahead.  GO."

"Okay," says Andrew. 

A shove from D.J., Bynum moves, slides, arms windmilling, picks up speed.

"Yikes," says Andrew.  Then the trees start to jump out, all round him.  "Whoaaaaaaa.  I can't stop.  I can't stooooopppppp."  Thanks to a tall pine tree, and it's collision with Andrew's knee, he is saved from going who knows how far, how many head over heels, and how much more agonizing pain?

Skiers arrives, rescuers arrives, D.J. comes running.  And an hour or so of, lights in his eyes, bandages, snow bunnies pointing, 'Is that Andrew Bynum?',  how many fingers do you see, and pain, Oh Boy.  The pain.

As the sun sets, Andrew sits with his leg up by the main lobby's fireplace.

"What am I gonna tell 'em happened?" says Andrew.  "They don't like us doing stuff like this. Looked real easy, you know."

"I been thinking about that too," says D.J.  "How about this.  We tell them you hurt your leg Bowling. Think they'd go for that?"

"Bowling?  I guess," says Andrew.  "Yeah, I was Bowling.  Screwed up my knee...Bowling, yeah."

"I can fix it.  Lois Lanes up in Allentown'll do it.  Few bucks, get you on their surveillance, so it looks real."

"Damn," says Andrew.  "I won't be playing for a long time now.  But hey, they won't be saying how I'm slow on the court, or how come I don't rebound more."

"You got it made, Andrew.  Big contract, and a real bad knee."

"After the Lakers traded me...I don't know...My knee, it just got worse.  It just keeps hurting..."

D.J. smiles.  "You know it might never get well...and then they won't be trading you, or talking about how you play.  We could really learn how to ski, or maybe wrestling, you know, you'd be good at that...or be an actor like WorldPeace, John Salley, or Kareem."

"An actor," says Andrew.  He stares into the fire. "I wouldn't have to workout all the time...this rehab...them reporters...a new adventure...?  Yeah.  I'd like to maybe get a Harley, too."

And that's the real story behind Bynum's knee problem.  "I twisted it Bowling.  It's true.  Really." 

I twisted it Bowling?  Andrew, my man, come on.  That's a hard one to swallow.  Even for me.

...................

 

(This comes from my Blog: StiffLeftJab.com)

GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Report: Chris Paul ‘despises’ Doc Rivers, had issues with treatment of son Austin

Report: Jimmy Butler recruiting Kyle Lowry to the Timberwolves

WATCH: Tim Tebow didn't waste any time homering after promotion

Nolan Arenado throws out runner from seated position

NFL fans in Florida seem to like Tom Brady more than any of their three teams’ players

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Mayweather-McGregor fight is reportedly seeking a $10 million title sponsor

Terry Francona wearing heart monitor in case of another 'episode'

Albert Almora denies flipping off President Donald Trump during White House visit

Blazers post hilarious tweets after acquiring cash from Rockets

Chip Kelly defends Kaepernick: He was not a distraction

Steve Smith faces suspension should he unretire

The 'You get a steal! You get a steal! Everybody gets a steal!' quiz

Rewriting the Hall of Fame rubric for today's pitchers

Top NBA free agents available

Box Score 6/28: New York loses its zen

Although you have seen this start before, this season is no sequel for the Dodgers

The 'Power hitters are coming for that number one spot' quiz

The 10 best sports docs available for streaming

Feeding your roundball addiction through the summer months

BIG3 Referee Hotline Bling: Ricky Davis takes unnecessary shots at Al Harrington

Who won Wimbledon the year you were born?

Box Score 6/27: Monday is for all sorts of ballers

Big3 brings summer festival feel to basketball with barnstorming tour

All Sports News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

The 'You get a steal! You get a steal! Everybody gets a steal!' quiz

Rewriting the Hall of Fame rubric for today's pitchers

2017 is not another disappointing sequel for the Dodgers

BIG3 Referee Hotline Bling: Ricky Davis takes unnecessary shots at Al Harrington

The 10 best sports docs available for streaming

Feeding your roundball addiction through the summer months

The 'Power hitters are coming for that number one spot' quiz

Big3 brings summer festival feel to basketball with barnstorming tour

The 'Tonight, we settle the Beard vs. Brodie debate' quiz

2016-17 NBA Awards: The 8th Man Award for most overlooked player this year

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Help
Follow Yardbarker