Found December 07, 2012 on Fox Sports Arizona:
PHOENIX -- As influenced by a few painful personnel choices in recent years, the Phoenix Suns probably realize NBA teams should offer no guarantees. But we just witnessed one exception. That would be Thursday's Satisfaction Guaranteed Night, a clever promotion that coaxed the participation of a season-high 17,517 paying (for now) customers during a nationally-televised date with the Dirk Nowitzki-free Dallas Mavericks. "Every time we step out there, we play like there's a money-back guarantee," Suns coach Alvin Gentry, obviously not referring to road games in Detroit, said before his team's unsatisfactory 97-94 loss to the Mavs. "We want everybody when they leave this arena to feel they've gotten their money's worth." Well, after the Suns scored 11 of the game's first 12 points, most of the fun didn't return until a closing rally. Otherwise, this could event could have turned out to be pretty costly in a number of ways. As you've probably heard, the Suns mustered a great deal of local and national curiosity by offering to refund the cost of Thursday's ticket no questions asked. But after watching the home team attempt to give the fans a reasonable run for their money we're here to determine if there's any question how this will play out once the rebate window opens. Please note that concessions, parking and the swell karma from having a nearly-full house on TNT are not refundable. We also should remind you that some people looking for anything they can get for free would transform the All For Orange rally slogan into All For Nothing. With the stakes higher than after the usual Suns performance, let's weigh some reasons why the money should be returned or why it should remain with team owner Robert Sarver. SHOW-ME-THE-MONEY ISSUES The Suns' second possession was an on-purpose post-up for Michael Beasley, who spent much of his pre-game routine struggling to score on the block against 6-foot-10 skill development assistant coach Sean Rooks. When the game started, Beasley was matched against Mavs swingman Dahntay Jones, who working with a three-inch height disadvantage used a pulling-the-chair tactic to subdue the Suns forward on that second play. Considering his usual fourth-quarter role, you'd think Beasley would be comfortable operating in chair-related maneuvers. Anyway, Beasley missed 3 of 12 shots on the night, didn't bump into a single rebound and seemed to be begging for a new nickname: How about The Big Refundamental? The Suns' selfish attitude toward a few changes in their offensive system (it looked like the "Misread Option") surfaced in a lurch toward fun that produced a 40-percent shooting performance. Someone in the organization should pay for every icepick-in-the-ear-provoking rendition of that "Gangnam Style" tune. After staggering home from a 1-5 road swing, the Suns fell to 7-13 on the season, losing to a shaky team that was on the second night of back-to-back work shifts. The catalyst for the Mavericks' triumph was O.J. Mayo (23 points), a recent free agent whose crazed contract demands (reportedly about 8 million per season) led him to Dallas and eventually steered Shannon Brown back to Phoenix. A sprained right MCL for Suns special-teams wedge-buster P.J. Tucker a player who should be considered the biggest bargain item in the entire building. Yeah, it's no reason to go for the refund just a good reason to be excessively bummed. THE WORTH-EVERY-PENNY VARIABLES OK, despite Gentry's insistence that nobody from management encouraged the coaching staff to try making the Suns more fun than usual, the first offensive play was a back-screened, alley-oop dunk for center Marcin "The Polish Quote Machine" Gortat. I'm not sure what the exchange rate would be regarding Gortat's involvement in Satisfaction Guaranteed Night, but that was his only bucket of the game. "I think it's a great thing," Gortat said an hour before Satisfaction Guaranteed Night commenced. "I think it's a great opportunity for the fans." We'll see if the fans are buying in or just renting in. Gortat -- still being used much like a starting pitcher that can't stick around long enough to qualify for a victory -- spent about eight minutes of his fourth quarter on the bench. "At the end of the day, it's a coach's decision," Gortat said when asked about fourth-quarter rotations at the beginning of the night, "and we have to do what he says to do." That's interesting, considering we're pretty convinced that Gentry's been asking his players to move the ball, defend with passion and rebound like any hair they might have is on fire. Before the fourth quarter, Beasley was back in his customary sideline chair, being sent back like a bottle of wine gone bad. His body language, which usually requires a dump button, was the antithesis of that demonstrated by feisty Tucker. The Suns entertainment czars really broke out the big guns. During a time out at 7:41, they fired up a video (I'm pretty sure it's the same one from two years ago) of Hairy Gorilla terrorizing holiday shoppers. In my opinion, this was worth more than the price of admission and far more amusing than Markieff Morris' 3-point percentage in road games. Morris (15 points, 17 rebounds), by the way, was really good (again) at home. For a nice chunk of the first half, Beasley was matched against former Sun Vince Carter. This showdown must have been absolute heaven for the franchise's crustier critics, especially considering Carter's 1-for-4 shooting effort in the first half. It's like he never left. Speaking of ex-Suns, SGN included an appearance from Shawn Marion. For freebie-seekers who prefer the Los Angeles Lakers, we had Mavs newcomer Derek Fisher, who may eventually need a flopping-fine rebate.
THE BACKYARD
BEST OF MAXIM
RELATED ARTICLES

Is moving Beasley to the bench the cure all for Suns' troubles?

The way things are going in Phoenix, Alvin Gentry may need to add on a second level to his doghouse. The newest tenant: Michael Beasley. It is hard to pin the Suns losing five straight on Beasley alone, but he is certainly not helping his cause. So it sounds like Gentry may try to remedy his struggles for him with a quick move out of the starting lineup. Gentry said after dropping...
STRAIGHT CASH, HOMEY

Suns offer money-back guarantee

The Suns have offered fans the chance attend Thursday's game against the Mavericks and if they don't enjoy it, the team will give them their money back.

Suns try to snap losing streak vs. Mavs

The Phoenix Suns are so confident in what team president Jason Rowley calls their "exciting brand of basketball" that the team is offering fans their money back - regardless of the game's outcome - if they're not completely satisfied with the experience at Thursday night's matchup against the Dallas Mavericks. The way the Suns are playing, that could end up...

Beasley Frustrated, Bewildered By Struggles

Michael Beasley entered Thursday's loss to by the Suns to the Mavericks with the NBA's worst cumulative plus/minutes (-136) while shooting 37.4 percent.

NFL Punters Are People Too, Phoenix Suns Fan Went Heavy On Orange Glow & Hogwarts Snuggie

Do you see random sh$% while driving to work and think it needs to be seen by the masses? Does the guy who sits next to you at work look like a tool on a daily basis? Does your dog lick his balls in an odd fashion? Is your neighbor working on some sort of outer space vehicle behind his shed? We want your WTF photos. Email us: mail@bustedcoverage.com Filed under: Daily WTF

Will Scola Be Scolding?

One of the frequent names that comes up in Razzball comments is Luis Scola. His 13 points, 9 rebounds, 3 assists line is fairly on par with the season (12.7/7.0/1.7) and his career (14.4/7.7/1.9). He has 5 years in the NBA and is 32 years old. He’s never going to be a 15/10 guy with 2 blocks per game, except on that rare full moon once per month. That’s not him. However, he...

Mavericks blow big lead but rally to edge Suns

PHOENIX -- It was "Guaranteed Fun Night" night at US Airways Center, and the Phoenix Suns succeeded in making things exciting down to the final seconds Thursday. Lately, though, the only guarantee is a Suns loss. The Dallas Mavericks blew a 15-point, third-quarter lead but held on to hand the Suns their fifth straight defeat, 97-94. Dallas guard O.J. Mayo, who was...

Mavericks-Suns Preview

The Phoenix Suns are so confident in what team president Jason Rowley calls their "exciting brand of basketball" that the team is offering fans their money back - regardless of the game's outcome - if they're not completely satisfied with the experience at Thursday night's matchup against the Dallas Mavericks. The way the Suns are playing, that could end up...

Suns' rally falls short in loss to Mavs

PHOENIX (AP) -- O.J. Mayo scored 23 points, including the go-ahead jumper with 35 seconds to go, and the Dallas Mavericks held on to beat Phoenix 97-94 on Thursday night, the Suns' fifth loss in a row. Brandan Wright and Darren Collison scored 16 apiece for Dallas. Wright's total was a season high. Chris Kaman added 15 points. Markieff Morris had 15 points and a career...

Mavericks 97, Suns 94

PHOENIX -- It was "Guaranteed Fun Night" night at US Airways Center, and the Phoenix Suns certainly succeeded in making things exciting down to the final seconds Thursday. Lately, though the only guarantee is a Suns loss. The Dallas Mavericks blew a 15-point, third-quarter lead but held on to hand the Suns their fifth straight loss, 97-94. Dallas guard O.J. Mayo was...

Bird’s Rookie Year — Game 26 vs. the Suns

Celtics (19-6) vs. Suns (17-11) Friday, December 7, 1979 Boston Garden Today is a tragic day in the history of the United States as we remember those who lost their lives on Pearl Harbor, but today also marks the day of birth for Larry Bird.  Bird and the Celtics began their next stretch of three-games-in-three-days with a Friday night game at the Garden against a highly competitive...

Clippers bench comes to the rescue again

LOS ANGELES Late Saturday morning, Phoenix Suns coach Alvin Gentry stood outside the visiting team's locker room at Staples Center and declared the Clippers' reserves the best bench in the NBA. "I don't think it's even close," he said. By Saturday afternoon, Gentry and the Suns saw it firsthand. They were mowed down by a third-quarter rout at the hands...
NBA News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.