Found January 16, 2008 on We Should Be GM's: Yardbarker Blogger Network
Eaton
I spent last night behind bars because of Adam Eaton. Thank goodness for lifelong buddy Corey, or I may still be in the dank cell in Philly...he posted my bail. Don't worry bro, I'll pay you back later. Why was I arrested? How was it Adam Eaton's fault? Here's how the story goes... My ever mounting hatred of Adam Eaton reached its apex last night after allowing 6 runs in less than 4 innings. I couldn't take it anymore, the man is a disgrace to a Phillies uniform, he is pitching so crappy that he'd be released if it weren't for his outlandish 3 year 24.5 million dollar contract. Patty G was even quoted after the game as to saying, "Yeah, he sucks. I should have never signed him, but hindsight is 30-30." Wow, he's as retarded as Manuel! Anyway, back to the story, so after watching Charlie take the ball from Eaton's limp hand in the top of the 4th, I hopped in my car and headed down to the stadium in a fit of fury. There I waited for about 3 hours for the opportunity to take back what's ours...the Phillies money. See, in all honesty, I thought I was doing the honorable thing that any upstanding law abiding citizen would do, but the cops didn't see it that way. I was lurking in the depths of the night darkness behind a black Hummer when I saw Eaton emerge from the clubhouse tunnel. I quickly encountered him and demanded he retire. He must of thought I was drunk, because he chuckled and asked if I had a pen...like I wanted an autograph from this no-talent ass-clown. Well, turns out I did want an autograph, so I let him sign my t-shirt with the Sharpie I had in my pocket, but that's not important to the story. After giving me his John Hancock (that's sounds dirty) he continued walking towards his vehicle, so I politely tapped him on his shoulder and demanded he retire once again. This is where it gets ugly...Eaton told me to "bug off" or something to that effect, and then I bitch-slapped him, took his wallet and car keys and sped off in his Porsche Cayenne. No, I wasn't robbing him, that's unethical and immoral, rather I was going to go max out his debit card and sell his Porsche on AutoTrader.com to try and get back some of the money he stole from the organization. Unfortunately, his Cayenne was equipped with the OnStar GPS tracking device and I was apprehended by the boys in blue before I got off the Schuylkill...damn traffic! And that my friends is how an angry blogger was arrested. Click URL for full article.

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Comments (20)
  • stevens8204
    Placard_complete_small
    Wow! Now that is taking it in your own hands!
  • GMCarson
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    I had to do it, I couldn't continue to watch Eaton pitch us out of the playoffs. Thank goodness for Lohse and Kendrick.
  • dontrelle
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    hahahahah man thats a crazy story
  • rcs360
    Wow, never heard something like that before!
  • buckyd1918
    if you click on the link of the real story, and then scroll to the bottom of the page, it says he made the whole story up
    • KingdomeCome
      doesn't really take an Einstein to figure that one out.
      • Quadzilla
        Yep, something like this just "might" make SportsCenter.
  • GMCarson
    Placard_complete_small
    I figured most people when reading this would know it's a farce, but apparently some are gullibe. Funny story nonetheless...

    By the way, is that really D-Train that left the comment?
    • Annt74
      Placard_complete_small
      that the real D.....check his blog...
  • GMCarson
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    That's awesome!!!
  • Annt74
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    i agree...by the way...as if you actually got up of the couch and drove down to the stadium...great story...oh ya all the other stuff, bitch-slap, autograph, taking his car etc.
  • GMCarson
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    My blog, We Should Be GM's @ http://pabaseball.blogspot.com, focuses mainly on the Phils and we often like to put a commical spin on things. This story was a way of me venting my frustration.
  • GMCarson
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    Gotta have fun with life!
  • tacotime
    I bet you now Adam is going to take second thoughts about pitching bad again
  • GMCarson
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    That would be awesome if Eaton actually caught wind of this fake story...he'd probably get a good laugh out of it.
    • Or, he would sue you for everything in your wallet.
  • GMCarson
    Placard_complete_small
    How could he sue me?
    • I don't know. You "tarnished his reputation?"
  • GMCarson
    Placard_complete_small
    He tarnished his own reputation with that shit-o-rific effort he gave for the Phils last season. I hope he turns it around and makes me eat every last word I ever spoke negatively of him, but until then- ta hell wit him!
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