I spent last night behind bars because of Adam Eaton. Thank goodness for lifelong buddy Corey, or I may still be in the dank cell in Philly...he posted my bail. Don't worry bro, I'll pay you back later. Why was I arrested? How was it Adam Eaton's fault? Here's how the story goes...
My ever mounting hatred of Adam Eaton reached its apex last night after allowing 6 runs in less than 4 innings. I couldn't take it anymore, the man is a disgrace to a Phillies uniform, he is pitching so crappy that he'd be released if it weren't for his outlandish 3 year 24.5 million dollar contract. Patty G was even quoted after the game as to saying, "Yeah, he sucks. I should have never signed him, but hindsight is 30-30." Wow, he's as retarded as Manuel! Anyway, back to the story, so after watching Charlie take the ball from Eaton's limp hand in the top of the 4th, I hopped in my car and headed down to the stadium in a fit of fury. There I waited for about 3 hours for the opportunity to take back what's ours...the Phillies money. See, in all honesty, I thought I was doing the honorable thing that any upstanding law abiding citizen would do, but the cops didn't see it that way. I was lurking in the depths of the night darkness behind a black Hummer when I saw Eaton emerge from the clubhouse tunnel. I quickly encountered him and demanded he retire. He must of thought I was drunk, because he chuckled and asked if I had a pen...like I wanted an autograph from this no-talent ass-clown. Well, turns out I did want an autograph, so I let him sign my t-shirt with the Sharpie I had in my pocket, but that's not important to the story. After giving me his John Hancock (that's sounds dirty) he continued walking towards his vehicle, so I politely tapped him on his shoulder and demanded he retire once again. This is where it gets ugly...Eaton told me to "bug off" or something to that effect, and then I bitch-slapped him, took his wallet and car keys and sped off in his Porsche Cayenne. No, I wasn't robbing him, that's unethical and immoral, rather I was going to go max out his debit card and sell his Porsche on AutoTrader.com to try and get back some of the money he stole from the organization. Unfortunately, his Cayenne was equipped with the OnStar GPS tracking device and I was apprehended by the boys in blue before I got off the Schuylkill...damn traffic! And that my friends is how an angry blogger was arrested.
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Original Story:
stevens8204 said January 16, 2008
GMCarson said January 16, 2008
rcs360 said January 16, 2008
buckyd1918 said January 17, 2008
KingdomeCome replied January 17, 2008
Quadzilla replied January 17, 2008
GMCarson said January 17, 2008
By the way, is that really D-Train that left the comment?
Annt74 replied January 17, 2008
GMCarson said January 17, 2008
Annt74 said January 17, 2008
GMCarson said January 17, 2008
MrMarc replied January 19, 2008
It's just pure madness!
GMCarson said January 19, 2008
tacotime said January 19, 2008
GMCarson said January 19, 2008
MrMarc replied January 20, 2008
GMCarson said January 20, 2008
MrMarc replied January 20, 2008
GMCarson said January 20, 2008